The Lakes News
by xxxspottedfeatherxxx
Summary: The clans receive a newspaper called The Lakes News, thus the authoress destroys relationships, kits,and causes Firestar to cry. Updated on a weekly basis.
1. ch1 The start of the end of warriors

**This is Jayfeather I kidnapped him. *leans over to Jayfeather* "Say it!" **

**Jayfeather: "xxxSpottedfeatherxxx despite being awesome does not own Warriors. Erin Hunter does." **

The Lakes News

A long-furred, creamy she-cat with ice-blue eyes waited in a den and typed on a computer. She chuckled,"When the clans see this they'll realize that I'm more than a queen and that I'm not useless." Then she quickly hid the computer.

The next day there were apprentices running around the clans with The Lakes News. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw were having an animated argument about an an article in the newspaper.

Squirrelflight: Brambley, I didn't know that we were related, but Dustpelt was Ferncloud's uncle, and their kits ended up okay!

Brambleclaw: No, I don't think I can allow myself to be mates with you. Besides, Dustpelt is related to ASHFUR! He gives me the creepy-crawlies.

Suddenly, Dustpelt popped out of a bush and screamed, "You meanie! I'm telling Firestar!" He then ran off.

Brambleclaw laughed, "Like Firestar would take Dustpelt's word over mine."

Squirrelflight looked at him strangely. Meanwhile all the kits of the clans ate catmint.

**Short chapter, I know, but if you give me some reviews I will try to write longer chapters. Anyway I will try to update tomorrow. Anyway thank you for reading this story. **


	2. Ch2 Dustpelt the creepo

** I kidnapped Smudge! *looks at Smudge with a crazy grin* "Say the disclaimer unless you want to meet the wild cats." **

**Smudge: *gulp* xxxspottedfeatherxxx does not own Warriors. **

**Me: :( **

The Lakes News

Hollykit, Flamekit, and Lightningkit stared at the strange plant leaves in front of them. Hollykit knew that such a tantalizing plant couldn't be bad. So she took a taste of the plant. It was incredible! She stuffed some of the leaves into her brothers' mouths. The three kits knew that they had to help Daisy with her newspaper. What they didn't know, however was that all of the kits of the clans had eaten catmint and like them were helping Daisy. The kits formed the L.A.K.W.N (or Lake Association of Kits who Write Newspapers.)

Meanwhile, Dustpelt was yowling to Firestar that Brambleclaw was a big meanie. Firestar didn't believe him, because Dustpelt like most of the clan knew was a creepo. Instead he put Dustpelt on probation for being creepy. This made Dustpelt very angry so he started plotting against Firestar. He plotted and plotted for a week finally he joined his 3,000 kits and Daisy, and started writing a gossip column about how Mistystar and Firestar were caught kissing.(The L.A.K.W.N also spied for the newspaper.)

When the newspaper went out, many warriors started looking at Sandstorm weirdly. Sandstorm was grouchy because she had to go on dawn patrol, but she was anticipating her copy of the "The Lakes News". She started reading the newspaper quickly, but she nearly had a heart attack when she saw Dustpelt's gossip column. She ran into Firestar's den where he was having one of his usual tantrums. She yowled "Firestar! Did you cheat on me?" Firestar shrugged "Mistystar is a better kisser than you." Needless to say, Sandstorm scratched Firestar's eyes out. She only stopped when Graystripe pulled her away from Firestar.

Hollykit chuckled. she couldn't wait to put the video of Sandstorm's fight with Firestar on the online edition of "The Lakes News" She along with her brothers were recruited by Daisy as spies for the newspaper. Hollykit walked over to the nursery's computer, and uploaded the video.

**Okay, what do you want me to do about Dustpelt the creepo. Oh and 21 views. You guys are really nice ;) More characters will end up in probation. There will also be a kit mafia. Bye! **


	3. Ch3 kit mafia, and underwear stealing

**Today I kidnapped Graystripe. **

**Graystripe: "Thank you so much for taking me away from all of my kits. They were driving me crazy!"**

**Me: *leans over* "Say the disclaimer."**

**Graystripe: "Or what." **

**Me: *whispers to Graystripe***

**Graystripe :xxxspottedfeatherxxx does not own warriors. **

The Lakes News

Daisy walked into her den and started crying. A big meanie had taken her favorite mirror. Her thoughts turned to Dustpelt. Could have that creep have stolen the mirror? She knew who she had to call. In a flash she got out her paw phone and started texting.

Meanwhile, there was a meeting occurring at The Olde Kit Pub in the middle of the lake. Hollykit stood alone without her brothers. She was going to join the underground black market. She had her first good for the king of the operation.

…...

*flashback*

_ Daisy stood and yawned, she couldn't wait to hit the sack after editing about a million stories. She sighed "Those kits know how to write, but the suck at grammar." She went out to take a long relaxing shower. Meanwhile a fluffy black and white kit with blue eyes snuck into Daisy's nest and took her mirror_

*End of flashback*

…...

When Hollykit met the king, he stopped her from leaving and said "Your skills are good, and you are a part of the L.A.K.W.N. You will become a member of the kit mafia and steal more than simple household items. You will steal…. UNDERWEAR! Hollykit was amazed. She never thought that she would ever become a part of the mafia. That an enormous respect and boon in the kit world.

Meanwhile, Daisy was having a meeting with Foxleap, the best detective in the clans about her missing mirror. Foxleap inspected the evidence and came to a conclusion. "Your mirror is probably on the underground black market," Said Foxleap. "NO !" cried Daisy. I will talk to Firestar about this.

She ran into Firestar's den crying about her stolen mirror. Firestar was grouchy because he had just gotten back from Leafpool after the Sandstorm incident, and his work had piled up. So he started yelling at Brambleclaw to move his tabby butt and put Daisy in probation. (The authoress would have put his exact words, but she would have to put the story's rating as a M.) Meanwhile, as a punishment Firestar's underwear got raided by kit mafia.

**Okay, send me a review about what Firestar's punishment for cursing should be, and what other cats should end up in probation. Also I will not update on Sunday because of a birthday party. Soon my updating will only be on weekends because of school. Spottedfeather plushies goes to Moonbeam141 for telling me how to send plushies and reviewing, guests Guest and Sun for reviewing, Graystorm11 for fallowing this story, and whoever posted my story on the community Hey Firestar, want a waffle?**


	4. Ch4 Firestar and the clown room

**Hi you guys, this is firestar's punishment, but why did only one of you give me a review :(**

**"I don't *trembles* I don't own warriors" *cries* **

The Lakes News

The king shuddered, he had just met with the authoress. A new mission was to take place. It required some of his best and brightest. The kit mafia was going to take Firestar. The king knew that this would destroy some of his best spies and tacticians. He started calling his dream team to assemble.

Hollykit was startled. A strange message had come from the king calling her to the headquarters of the mafia. She quietly slipped out and ran to the island in the middle of the lake. When she got there, the king made an announcement. "Kits of all clans, we have to steal something most remarkable, a clan leader." Kits yowled against him. Hollykit knew that this was not going well. She unsheathed her clans in preparation for a fight. The king yowled, "I am your leader! I don't want to this, but the authoress leaves me no choice. If we don't do this the mafia is doomed! Kits of Thunderclan will meet me in my office." Hollykit stood, she didn't like kidnapping a leader, but she was in too deep to get out now.

In the king's office there were three kits, Hollykit, Jaykit, and Mousekit. The king stood and said "Your mission is to gather information on Firestar's sleeping habits in two weeks. After that you will join with the apprentice mafia, and take Firestar to headquarters. Then go to your nests and give no indication of the fact that you are in the mafia. Hollykit understood.

Two weeks later….

Hollykit looked at the apprentices, she walked over to Firestar and poked him. Firestar did not move, but started singing One Direction songs as expected. The apprentices moved him into their minivan and drove like maniacs to the headquarters. There the king waited for them. Hollykit disappeared. She didn't want to be there when Firestar encountered his greatest fear, clowns.

When everyone woke up the next morning, they were surprised that Jayfeather wasn't yelling at Firestar for eating his catmint. After the usual montage of searching for Firestar they gave up and went on with the usual duties as Dustpelt went into probation for creeping out Ferncloud, Daisy started crying that her fur was messy, and the apprentice mafia started eating catmint.

Meanwhile in the clown room with Firestar, the king laughed, watching Firestar was better than watching the Teletubbies. Firestar ran around from one clown to the other, finally he curled into a ball and started crying.

**Hollykit Plushie for Max Saturday burns toasters. Please Review!**


	5. Ch5 Briarxstick

**Hi plushies go out to no one because none of you reviewed except Max Saturday burns toasters. Next person who reviews will be able to do whatever they want to my story **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors! **

The Lakes News

Firestar couldn't believe that the kit mafia knew about his deep dark secret. He had only told Bluestar, Ferncloud, Tigerstar, Sandstorm, Cinderpelt, Graystripe, Lionheart, Longtail, and all of Thunderclan living or dead. He could not believe that they knew that he was XXXXXX XX XXXXXX! He also wondered how Thunderclan was surviving without their most brave, heroic,generous, and definitely not a gary-stu leader.

Meanwhile in Thunderclan, Jayfeather that extremely grumpy cat had received a sign through his stick. Jayfeather was having a fit, and screeching "Sticky has received a sign, we must have a catmint party to please Starclan. It is the only way. Otherwise, all of our kits will be addicted to catmint, and Firestar will never come back. " There was some hesitation from the warriors. Brambleclaw stopped that by saying, "We don't want that gary-stu back, but it is the only way for Thunderclan to survive. "

So Brambleclaw and the other warriors ate catmint and partied for an entire moon. Jayfeather however wasn't there. He was done by the lake with Briarlight. They were about to perform a seance in their catmint induced state. They were going to revive Sparklestar, a former clan leader that was the most powerful cat of all.

However, they got distracted and ended up having a contest to see who Sticky loved more. Sticky started crying "I'm sorry Jayfeather, but I love Briarlight more. I am a male. You never allowed me to speak my mind and you, you cheated on me with Half Moon. Then Briarlight and Sticky ran off into the sunset. Jayfeather then cried the river in between Windclan and Thunderclan.

As Jayfeather was busy crying Leafpool noticed him and said "Jayfeather sweetie, Mama had a sign. I saw a jay feather caught in a briar. I don't know whether it has anything to do with you or not but I think you should know about it. Also Mama is going to kidnap Crowfeather." Jayfeather didn't care. Nothing would be the same without his true love Sticky.

Meanwhile the king was getting bored with keeping Firestar in the mafia headquarters. He yelled to the authoress "Can I give him back to clan now?" Spottedfeather agreed, Firestar was boring, and all he did was cry now. "Yeah, kick him out." cried Spottedfeather. The king happily did her task.


	6. Authors note

**AUTHORS NOTE: I will not be updating until Sunday 12 due to to school, and a lot of other stuff. Mapleshade plushies, and a cookie go to Max Saturday burns toasters because he is the only one who reviewed.** **Sticky does not approve. **


	7. Ch6: Love is in the catmint

**I will be updating like this for a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg time.**

**Me: "I'm TOO TIRED! I don't own warriors, just Spottedfeather." **

The Lakes News

Brambleclaw sighed, the party had gotten too wild. He along with at least seven toms had proposed to their mates. (or in Brambleclaw's case previous mate.) Bumblestripe had proposed to Ivypool, Brambleclaw to Squirrelflight, Sticky to Briarlight, Crowfeather to Leafpool, Spiderleg to Daisy, Lionblaze to Cinderheart, Foxleap to Rosepetal, and most surprisingly Purdy had proposed to Hollykit. Hollykit had said no, because Purdy was ugly. However there was seven weddings to plan.

Dustpelt and Daisy were very happy despite being in probation. They had paid Sticky to create a false prophecy, and break up with Jayfeather. This was even better than they had thought because of all of the proposals. The newspaper was having a huge advertisement deal with a wedding company. Dustpelt's gossip column had a lot of juicy tidbits about the different couples. Newspapers were even more requested by the clans, and readership was up.

Meanwhile, Firestar had gotten lost on the path to Thunderclan. Even the authoress didn't know where he was.

Hollykit stared sadly at her reflection. Sticky had rejected her love for money. Her thoughts turned to Purdy. That creepy kittypet was just a little bit better than Dustpelt. Then there was a sudden squeal from the warriors den.

Squirrelflight, Briarlight, Leafpool, Daisy, Cinderheart,and Rosepetal were looking at wedding advertisements for their wedding. (They had decided to hold one mass wedding.) They had found the most beautiful wedding dresses. They packed up for a trip to Say Yes to the Warriors Dress!

Meanwhile all of the toms had a meeting in the Leader's den.

Brambleclaw started first, "Okay, so we are going to have one mass wedding. What date should we have it at? I'm only asking, because Squirrelflight wanted to have it on Valentines Day."

Sticky said, "You know, Briarlight wants us to book the Gathering Island for the wedding, and we probably won't get a spot that is *coughs* Briarlight assessable."

LIonblaze agreed "Good call Sticky."

The toms agreed on February 15, on the Gathering Island as the place for the wedding. Then they started writing invitations for all of the Cats in clans

The king smiled, Thinking of a certain she-cat's black and white fluffy fur and her blue eyes. Then he frowned knowing that everyone had forgotten about him. He was Snowkit of Thunderclan.

**Snowkit is a real warrior cat, and isn't forgotten (as far as I know) by anyone in Thunderclan. Also Purdy plushies go out to Fading Shadows for favoriting, fallowing, and reviewing, Crowfrost421 for reviewing, ad the guest Brightspirit. Also, I have not gotten a single flame :0 despite having about 244 views. :) **


	8. Ch7 The Overlord is coming

**Hi**

**I don't own Warriors. It's 66 degrees here in Florida, andI want you to watch Superwoman's Santa clause is coming to town (Desi version) **

**Well that's a good recap of my day. Plushies go to Brightspirit. Bye! **

Hollyleaf, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze had decided to play a game called "Starclan, the Game" The entire point of the game was to make very creative and strange prophecies. Jayfeather was winning with "The broken limb will never heal." Hollyleaf was second with "The lonely falling leaf was once underground with his beloved holly bush." Lionblaze was losing with "The flame- pelted lion is not stupid." Everyone in the clan except Millie was laughing. Millie wasn't laughing because she was coordinating the wedding plans with the King.

The king couldn't help sighing over the beautiful silky furred Xxxxxxxx. Meanwhile, he stared at his watch. Millie was running late. AGAIN! He had heard the gossip that Millie was having an affair with Sticky.

Suddenly, Hollykit walked into the room. She had been tracking Firestar.

"Bad news, Firestar has left the clans. He managed to in his high state go all the way to Princess' house. You know what this means." Hollykit said.

The king sighed, All of the mafias were going be inspected by the kingpin, Princess. She would disapprove that her kit wasn't a part of the Warrior mafia or that they hadn't manage to capture Sol and torture him with clowns. She would, just as unfortunately, return that catnip addicted, stupid, gross, ugly leader that was Firestar.

The King returned Hollykit to Thunderclan, and texted Daisy.

The King typed "Bad news princess is coming 2 town + u know what that means."

Daisy replied with a frowny face. She called Dustpelt to her den. "We need to print a special edition of the paper all about Firestar relations and what it has done to the clans over the years, " She cried.

"Why" asked the naive Dustpelt (Dustpelt wasn't a part of the warrior mafia.)

"Because" cried Daisy (who despite being unpopular in the clans was a member of the Warrior mafia.) "I need 100,000,000 copies stat!"

Dustpelt ran to do her work.

Meanwhile Lionblaze had lost the second round of the game to Hollyleaf. (Jayfeather hadn't played. He was busy trying to coach Briarlight in dragging herself across the ground in preparation for her wedding.)

Grayfeather started screaming and crying because he had seen Millie kissing Sticky. He screamed "So thats how it is, HUH! Well, I'm taking the kids we're through!

Briarlight lost her balance and started crying. Jayfeather just started shaking his head and said "That the sort of thing that make people have affairs in their dreams with dead cats remembering his girlfriend, Half Moon.


	9. Ch8 Firestar returns

**Hi, Plushies go to *reads list* only EnderCookieKitty. :( She will get 20000000000000000000000000000000000 plushies and 300000000000000000000000 cookies. **  
**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors,but it is my dream to one day be an Erin! **

Princess looked at her paw phone. The King had said that her pathetic brother had not been seen in the lake territory for some time now, and was last seen going to her territory. She smirked thinking of her stupid brother. That sputnik would probably be passed out due to his catmint addiction. She ran to the door, but she was stopped by the most sinister twoleg device imaginable... IT WAS THE ROOMBA!

Princess lept over the infernal device but ended up stuck on the thing for 2 days. Eventually she got off and ran to door. Where was her twoleg?

She yowled, "You dungface, foxbreath, dirt eating creature! Open the door for me now!

A female twoleg grumbled, "Stupid cat, It's in the middle of the night."

Princess ran out and looked out at her territory that she shared with the other members of the kittypet mafia. Suddenly she stumbled on a ginger pelted log. It was Firestar.

Firestar was all scratched up and was mumbling and crying "Sandstorm it's the clowns. They are coming after me. Help me! Nutmeg? Princess? Duststorm? Somebody?!"

Princess sighed. The authoress had been mean and made Firestar face his greatest fear, the color orange. She had also made him face his lesser fear of clowns. She always had to wash Firestar's fur. If she didn't he would have a huge panic attack.

Princess had cleaned him up, but she didn't want him in her territory. She was going to visit the clans.

...

AFTER TWO MOONS

Jayfeather tensed. Something wasn't right. Normally, He wasn't constipated. In fact the last time he was constipated was right before the Dark Forest Battle. He had spent almost all of the battle in the dirtplace.

Suddenly, Princess jumped in and quickly dropped off Firestar. She ran like lightning trying to prevent Firestar from making her a part of his clan. Many cats had this happen to them. It was a truly unfortunate end. There was rumors that he had once created an entire clan!

Meanwhile, all the cats in Thunderclan groaned.

**I'm going to have a soccer game, wish me luck!**


	10. Ch9 Breezepelt is a lady!

**Hey, I won my soccer game 7-2 ! Apparently, the other teams goalie had butter fingers if you get the jest. ;) Anyway, I am contagious with the dreaded cold, so Feathertail is my assistant and will get my mail.**

**Feathertail: *runs to mail* "The Erins wrote back and said that you don't own Warriors."**

**Me: *has a huge temper tantrum"**

**Feathertail: *run away***

**Plushies go out to Eaglehaze, who has a funny name.**

Sticky was plotting something marvelous. He got trapped with that clingy badger, while Crowfeather got the beautiful she-cat otherwise known as Breezepelt. It wasn't fair! He hated seeing their beautiful angst while never had any of his own. He was going to declare war on the clans with his thousands of brothers and sisters. Then he would capture Breezepelt, woo her and gallop away in his new 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollar BMW. It will be perfect, and creepy Dustpelt and Firestar will be dead!

Feathertail was listening to his exchange. She ran to Crowfeather's dream and told him of imminent threat to his daughter. Despite knowing that it was great for the clans to get rid of Dustpelt and Firestar.

In Crowfeather's dream...

Crowfeather was surrounded by many she-cats who all wanted his famous cider. He was happily cooking when suddenly his dream changed. His first love Feathertail was there. She said,"Crowiebanana, Something terrible will happen. Your daughter is a source of Sticky's love."

And with that his dream vanished leaving him very confused.

Breezepelt grumbled, When Thundercan was having its epic party, he had tried to crash it. Starclan was very displeased so he was turned into a she-cat. Now, some of his old friends were trying to become his mate. All he wanted was to return into his former male self so that he secretly lick Hermione's face with out getting weird looks. Breezepelt's pawphone had just received a notification. It was time for his weekly gender transformation support group.

At the weekly gender transformation support group...

As Breezepelt walked in he saw the familiar faces of Rowanclaw, Mosskit, Appledawn, Crowtail, Ottersplash, and many others. They welcomed him, while Mosskit started the program. "Ok, So who wants to start of with their problems.

Meanwhile in the Thunderclan dirtplace...

Jayfeather growled something worse was coming, He was still constipated. This was to be the second ultimate battle. He yowled and ran to Firestar, who was also constipated.

"Firestar, something big is going to happen. Be very wary because you are a mary-sue." cried Jayfeather. Firestar grunted as he struggled with his dirt.


	11. Ch11 HollyxKing

**Hi! Spottedfeather here! I recovered from my cold and my tantrum. Sadly no one reviewed so as punishment you all are going to see one of the characters destroyed. If no one answers it will be the end of the kit mafia.**

** Here are your choices**

**... **

** 1. Hollykit**

** 2. Firestar**

** 3. Dustpelt**

** 4. The King**

** 5. Jayfeather**

**...**

**Either review or PM me to vote. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors, but I should.**

Briarlight was in a horrible dream. She was stuck watching as her mom made out with her ex fiance, Sticky. It was so unfair. Her mom was going to have another wedding while she looked at Briarlight's despair. No good mother would do that. She started crying.

Meanwhile , Daisy was staring at the colossal amount of evidence that proved that the leader of the kit mafia had a crush on Hollykit. She quickly summoned Dustpelt and gave him all of the evidence for his gossip column. She smiled, This would definitely create some drama in the Warrior world. No leader of any mafia was suppose to have a mate. That reminded her that she had to go to the warrior mafia meeting.

Sticky sighed, his plan was coming together brilliantly. Soon he and Breezepelt would ride of into the sunset in his BMW.

Cinderheart smiled looking at her soon to be Hubby Lionblaze. She couldn't wait to have kits and have a big family. Everything was set for the wedding. All of the couples were in a sort of wedding bliss.

The Next day...

The King went to his den looking for his edition of The Lake News. He flipped to his favorite section of the newspaper, the gossip column. When he got there his jaw had to call Hollykit.

Hollykit received a text from The King telling her to go to his house. When she got there, she noticed a worried expression on his face. The king muttered nervously, "I don't know how they figured this out, but I have a crush on you."

Hollykit was deliriously happy she had never expected that The King loved her.

"Well, She began, I love you too."

**So evil cliffhanger time! Vote!**


	12. authors note 2

**There haven't been enough reviews for a new chapter. I have to get at least 5 reviews. I will not post until I have enough reviews. Please vote! I love to find reviews !**


	13. Author note: the end

**Hey, Everyone. Thank you for being awesome readers. I'm going to switch from Fanfiction to wattpad. It has been awesome, but The Lake News is officially finished. If you want to continue it be my guest. My wattpad username is lisasebastian9 I probably will post some stories on there. **

**Goodbye, **

**Spottedfeather ;(**


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